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"Oh Shit!" she cried, quickly withdrawing the candle from between her legs, before dropping it to the floor next to the settee, where it landed on the floorboards with a dull thud. She clumsily scrambled to her feet, straightening her skirt down over her smooth bare legs. She was clearly stunned and upset at being caught out. I saw her cheeks redden and tears began welling up in her eyes.I opened the door fully and walked into the room as she glared at me silently, obviously very embarrassed. She raised her hands up to her head, covering her face, shrieking; "Oh my God!!' over and over, saying that she didn't think anyone would be home for hours yet. After a little while I managed to calm her down somewhat, and persuaded her to sit back down. I explained that it was okay and that I had just arrived home moments before, so I really didn't see very much. I also said what she was doing was perfectly natural. I don't know why, but I quickly made up a bullshit story about when I was. .." Mike stammered. "Because, while there'sno doubt about the fact that I find myself sexuallyattracted to you, I still find that I like women!" "Name one!" "Well..." Mike replied demurely. "As conceited asthis is going to sound, I think I've got a bad case of thehots for the new me." "Oh, you do, do you?" "Yes!" Mike returned defensively. "So, what's the big deal about that? So, what if theold you that's still crammed up inside of that prettylittle head of yours likes the new you! Who cares? I mean,I'm certainly not about to get jealous over something asstupid and as non-threatening as that! Besides, likingyourself like that, even if liking yourself like that is aturn-on for you, doesn't make you either a bisexual or alesbian. It makes you a narcissist, or, if you'd rather, asort of self-contained sexual freakazoid, who digs thelivin' shit out of that hot new bod of hers!" "Thanks a heap, pal!" "Hey! Watch it! Look, there's no need to get flipwith me, kiddo! Remember, I'm on your.
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